Setting Intentions
March 2023 Slice of Life challenge
Leaning
Hands rest behind you Body is stiff A plank with hesitation I approach wrap my arms around your waist lean my cheek into your solid form Nothing softens Arms rigid stone like hands Stay fused A short moment passes Nothing softens slow motion I let go, back away Plainly aware of the rejection Although not unexpected I gaze up at an expressionless face Which seems to melt ever so slightly and I walk away Trying to determine if I am apathetic Or numb
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I had an epic fall in yoga class the other day. It was so epic that the entire class of students experienced it. I went up into a headstand at the head of my mat. This is a pose I often practice with ease. I don’t know why or how but I lost complete control. I fell backwards into the corner of the room. There was a huge thud as my flopping legs hit the mirror. I then proceeded to land on the small end table knocking the lamp and my glasses to the floor. I promptly notified the class, “I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m not sure about my glasses though. (A bit of a pause) Okay, you all can proceed.” It was a clear disruption and my attempt at humor didn’t receive any laughs. Luckily, I wasn’t hurt. I was able to continue with class without any issue. The bruises can always appear a few hours later and I will be reminded of my headstand blunder when it is something I’d like to forget.
Irritated
By the lump In your throat Annoyed by the recap I was there Inconvenienced By the timing Hoping to keep Calm Emotion should erupt But there is nothing I am holding back It’s gone missing I know it was once there However, I cannot recall it Disassociation? Hello, is that you? I invited you here A while back. Begged for you. If it is indeed you, Welcome. Your presence is preferred To other Alternatives An old friend. Holding back the darkness Hiding it Disguising it Refusing to let it Encompass me I am grateful Yoga class
8 AM Sunday morning It used to be my regular time Scheduling conflict Got me there Basketball themed Sounds crazy At first, I was not impressed with the declaration Although, later Pleasantly surprised Michael Jordan The court was the location of his flow state While other teams gruelingly preparing their defense Jordan using the game to relax his break My yoga mat Is this place March Mayhem not Madness Poses include Michael Jordan: Tongue out Air pose Jump shot Goddess squat resembling shuffle drills Heartwarming story A boy and basketball Gym shoes, not crocs Sometimes you just need to be told exactly what to do Hey Dad, I need a pair of shoes So I can play safely on the court Old friends Happy to connect again My heart grew I need to do this again You asked me
what I wanted for my birthday. So I answered. Because my wishes are nothing that can be bought, you scoffed. Lamenting about even asking at all. My desire to fix a deficiency. Tools for survival. If birthdays are really for wishes then I wish for those things To release what torments me and drags me into The abyss of anxiety and worry I took the opportunity Opened the vault Now Regretting that I spoke. I will squish it back inside I’d like a new sweater, please. Initial reaction
Out of proportion Pseudo declaration of calm Unaware of The result Heavy eyes Sagging mouth Drooping shoulders Lethargic gait Monotonous greeting Ignorance Is your bliss Burden Is our bane Incessantly Ambushed No investment In healing However Unsatisfied Remaining stagnant for durations Desperate for change Ignorant of a catalyst hope Wearing thin It's a birthday filled month in our house. Today is my oldests sweet 16. Yesterday, I took down the decorations from last week's birthday celebration and redecorated. Blue streamers and balloons replace the pink ones and the number 3 balloon has been removed and now a 6 sits in its former place. Each year I feel a tinge of guilt like I am cheating because even though my oldest was born first she always gets the birthday festivities second.
The same as for her sister, per our tradition, she starts each birthday morning greeted with decorations and fresh baked cinnamon rolls ready for her to devour. This year it falls on a Sunday so she can enjoy a relaxed day not having to rush off to her usual weekday activities. We will have a family dinner this evening at her restaurant of choice, the Olive Garden. She will open presents, we will sing joyously as she blows out the 16 candles stuck in her favorite Portillos chocolate cake. Albeit she is 16 but there will not be a brand new car waiting in our driveway with a huge red bow on it. That being said a band new car is in the works for me. Once my new car arrives she will get to use my old, very loved car with permission. She is still excited at the prospect of freedom. I am too. She will take her driving test on Tuesday when the DMV is open for business. Happy 16th Birthday C! an impulse,
a welcomed urge however out of my control as if instantaneous it happens much like a slap that is suddenly laid on my cheek I feel the sting that lingers for only a second or two I concentrate so I can feel every millisecond and the space between as the sting dissipates until it has completely vanished My reflection might tell a story I don’t check A long run
Miles and miles the finish line undetermined My feet pounding With every step My lungs burning with each breath My joints aching with each stride My heart pumping with relentlessness I crave running and running and running away I welcome the pain that accompanies me on the limestone path that crunches beneath I except the collapse strangely thrilled with the punishment feeling every tiny molecule of exhaustion that my body earned I crave to fully feel it Not just in my body But also in my mind in my soul Evil doer
How long will you last? Not knowing makes it unbearable I ask others For their opinion As if somehow hearing what they think Will offer some clarity It does not If only there was an endpoint I‘d be able to endure Without an endpoint It can only seem as if it will be FOREVER I’m told Evil has no backbone It will collapse Eventually I wait And Wait And … |
AMRK-6 Music Teacher Archives
March 2022
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