Setting Intentions
March 2023 Slice of Life challenge
Full disclosure: I wrote some of my posts ahead of time because I have major due date anxiety. I had a few posts on reserve in case I couldn't find the time to write a post every single day in March. This is one of them. My excuse for not having a timely post is because I was lazy today. I was having a down day in the midst of this fiasco. My adrenaline has run dry. Enjoy.
As I walk down the stairs at my gym I can see right into the pool area. Every time I pass by the windows I toy with the idea of adding in swimming to my workouts. But then I remember I won’t swim indoors or outdoors (of course) unless it’s warm enough outside or the pool is heated. A. Lot. When it’s warm outside I can enjoy morning swim workouts and not be cold the rest of the day. I’m looking forward to the change in the weather so that I can also enjoy a change in my workout routine. All of those swimmers I see in the pool each morning after my regular gym workout baffle me. I’m jealous of their abilities. And I’m not talking about their swimming technique. How do they go about the rest of their day after spending an hour or more submerged in freezing cold water? If I did that I’d be cold to the bone all day long. Is there something wrong with my body’s temperature regulation? Help! Anyone? Because I’d like to enjoy swimming all year round without having to spend my days wearing my winter coat indoors.
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It’s happened again. Whenever I am on break from work whether it’s spring, winter or summer break my intentions are always to build my routine around my usual early wake up time. Now we’re on a different kind of break and inevitably over the last few days my 4:50am wake up time slowly crept later and later to the point where I was in bed in my pajamas during our first 9am Zoom staff meeting. It hasn’t even been a full week off yet. My first-thing-in-the-morning workout has turned into a 3pm or later workout. My kids have followed suit and are not even getting out of bed until after 9am. I am going to give myself some grace and keep patting myself on the back for doing all I can to keep myself and my kids engaged throughout the day. What does it matter what time we actually do everything? Now we have the time flexibility to do it when we feel like it and not just when we are forced to cram it into our otherwise hectic schedules. So my plan is to revel in the flexibility we’ve been strangely gifted.
On my irregular trip to the mall a couple of Friday nights ago (remember back when we could go to the mall?), I was walking through the Marshalls and I overheard a couple of tween girls chatting. One of the girls was telling her friend, as they were looking in the mirror, “You know you’ll never actually SEE yourself. You know like in the flesh.” That’s when I stopped in my tracks and said to the girls with excitement, “Hey, I have thought that very same thing before!” And I went on to explain that our reflection in the mirror is not truly what others see because it’s reversed. And it’s the same with selfies or pictures of ourselves too. We will never see ourselves with our own eyes the way others see us with their eyes. Not sure why I couldn’t just walk by without engaging in their conversation. I was definitely delighted to know that someone else has the same weird thought that I do. I’m pretty sure those young girls SEE me as a crazy old lady in the flesh, but I’ll never truly know.
On Monday after yoga class the teacher said that the studio would be open until further notice. I know it may be controversial but I felt okay going to class as I just walked into the room, set up my personal mat/props and enjoyed class with 4 other people. I checked in online in order to avoid the touch screen, stayed out of the locker room and brought my own mat and props to use during class. I told the teacher that coming to yoga class was the only normal that I had left as all other things have been canceled. Work, everything school related, gymnastics and my gym are all on hiatus. I support these closures and I truly believe they are for all the right and smart reasons. Before I was heading to yoga on Monday I felt uneasy about my decision to go but I did anyhow because I knew it would just be a matter of time before it was shut down too. And as of last night it was. Now I have nothing from my routine left. Nothing. No more normal.
I’m NOT going to shut down. I will still wake up and get myself ready for each day. My family and I will find a new routine. I’ve had my routine uprooted before and I’ve always found another way, another routine. I am tenacious. Let’s do this. I watched the movie Brittany Runs a Marathon and it brought back some real raw feelings. Yes it’s a comedy but the theme of digging yourself out of a slump and accomplishing something epic was definitely relatable.
I started running because I needed to get out of my house. I was trapped by my baby and 3 year old. I was unable to relinquish control and accept help from anyone. Because of this I was failing to thrive. In order to be able to accept the help that postpartum depression forced me to so desperately need, I had to physically leave the house and allow my husband to relieve me. First a jog turned into a 5K, then a 10k, next a 10 miler and a half marathon. Do you know where this is going? Running 26. 2 miles, the marathon distance, was only natural at this point. Then I had to run 6 more marathons and faster at that to make sure I knew how strong, tenacious and determined I really was. Running hard and conquering those distances was not really about the miles. It was about proving to myself I could do it. That I wasn’t a failure. I began to thrive. Back in the day when I was able to run whenever I wanted I hated the treadmill. I would always choose to run outside no matter the weather. Well, actually I do have a weather threshold. If the wind-chill is below zero then I’ll stay inside and watch some trashy TV that I cannot rationalize unless I am running hard on the treadmill. But this day was different. It was my first time back on this darn thing in years. I felt excited even privileged to be running on what I used to call the conveyor belt of hell. From my seat on the recumbent bike I use to look at the treadmill runners and wish it was me with my headphones in my ears, feet pounding and watching some crappy TV show. I always wondered why these treadmill runners didn’t choose to go outside instead. I made a judgement thinking how crazy they must be, especially when the weather outside was nice. Now I look at it from a different perspective. Maybe they were starting a new exercise routine or healing from an injury like me or maybe just maybe they love running on the treadmill. This time I wondered who was watching ME as I ran on the treadmill. Were they jealous of me or do they just think I’m crazy too! I ordered a mail in ballot a few weeks ago because the thought of adding another errand to my upcoming schedule was unnerving. I have never voted early or done a mail in ballot before so when everyone was posting about it on Facebook I quickly requested one. I’ve always gone to the crowded poling place and waited in line to cast my vote because I know it’s important to look past the hassle and exercise my right. Recently I have been go-go-going without a resting point in sight so voting in the calm of my home and tossing it in the mailbox when I am finished seems like a dream. Today I sat down with my ballot and computer and researched all the candidates so that I could make informed decisions. Now it’s all ready to be placed in the mailbox to be counted. In the wake of all the shutdowns my to do list has been greatly diminished but staying out of long lines and a crowded poling place is the best case scenario. No matter how you accomplish it please make sure your vote is counted too!
I went to my first middle school volleyball game this year. After experiencing never ending softball games I now love a fast paced volleyball game. A point for you and point for you and another point... Before you know it the game is over. This sport fits best into my crazy life. I’d say it’s even better than basketball which is an hour give or take a few timeouts. I just wish my daughter had seen some more playing time this season. It was bringing her down being on the bench. Pep talks from me are plenty so let’s hope she sticks with it.
Find my iPhone HaikuAgain phone is lost
Apple Watch to the rescue Ping my iPhone please The one feature I use the most on my Apple watch is the find my iPhone feature. How often is my phone stuck in the depths of my cavernous purse or sandwiched between books or papers you ask? About as often as it is stuck between the seats in my car or in the pocket of the sweater that is underneath my winter coat. The struggle is real. Ping. I went to my gym today at my usual time. I always arrive at opening when it’s still dark and the sun hasn’t even thought about making an appearance. There are the usual people who join me at this same time each morning for their workout, except this morning. It was a ghost town. I was literally the only one there. Well, me and the desk girl and the guy in charge, we were the only ones there. In the wake of the virus scare I have been going about my daily life until someone in charge tells me I can’t. Was I the only one who wasn’t panicked enough to stay home from the gym today? It was a very disconcerting feeling. And this paired with my trip to Costco yesterday where swarms of people were competing for cases of bottled water and large amount of toilet paper is not helping the situation. Now I don't know how I feel. I’m wavering somewhere between “Come on now, reel it in everyone. This is getting crazy!” and ending up at Costco stocking up on god knows what. Help!
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AMRK-6 Music Teacher Archives
March 2022
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