Setting Intentions
March 2023 Slice of Life challenge
My daughter has been talking about quitting gymnastics. We recently found out she has a cyst in her hand that is causing her pain. The doctor won't remove it unless we exhaust the least invasive options. Bracing it and taking it easy has reduced her pain so at our last doctor's visit he sent us on our way to watch and see what happens.
A week has passed since seeing the doctor and she is in pain again. I am not sure if she talking about quitting because she is in pain and is nervous about a possible surgery or if she is really done with the sport. She has been moving up a level each of the 5 years she has participated and this is the year where many girls decide to hand up their leotards because moving to the next level the skills become scarier and the practice time in the gym multiplies. My daughter has no other activities in her life right now except school, limited Girls Scouts and gymnastics. If she were to quit gymnastics she would have over 16 hours a week to fill. She keeps citing reasons to quit that are not even applicable to the present moment. For instance, she's in 5th grade now and says next year in 6th grade there will be too much homework and school will be so much harder she won't have time for gymnastics. I want her to really know what she is quitting gymnastics for. I want her to have a plan for these 16 hours a week and what she will fill them with. I have a gut feeling that she wants to give up because of her injury and I want her to make a decision to quit after she perseveres and gets to the other side of this injury. I don't want it to be the reason she gives up. How much of this is me guiding her to make what I think is the right decision and how much is her making this decision for herself? Because if I am honest I am crushed that she wants to give up. I will be losing something that I have enjoyed too. I have watched her participate in a sport that helped her excell physically and grow mentally. She has accomplished so much in the last 5 years and I don't want us both to lose that.
4 Comments
Terje
3/24/2021 11:29:16 am
It's complicated. You wish her to make a good decision, you wish her to be happy, you wish her to feel good, you wish her to be healthy, you wish her to have resilience, and in fifth grade she might not yet understand the consequences of the decision either way she makes them. Keep talking to her.
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3/24/2021 12:25:58 pm
I echo Terje’s comment, but I also wonder about the tile the cyst is playing in the decision. I’d go to a new doctor if I were you. Cysts don’t typically go away untreated. Even when removed they often return. Gymnastics is huge where I live, so I understand your concerns.
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Maureen
3/24/2021 12:49:18 pm
This slice captures the decisions we face as parents about when to push and when to let go. Wouldn't it be nice to know all the right answers? Does it have to be an all or nothing decision? Sometimes taking a short break will allow her to decide if it's still a fit.
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Brittany Graves
3/25/2021 07:51:26 am
I know I would feel the same way. You grow to love watching your child in the sport as much as they like to participate in it. I think it's great that you want to encourage her to fill her 16 hours of time in another way. That is a lot of time she would be getting back- so filling it with a new sport or hobby makes sense!
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