Setting Intentions
March 2023 Slice of Life challenge
My husband and I grew up a town away from each other. Our families never knew each other. We never new each other.
We met in grad school when I heard him talking behind me in class. He was talking about where he was from with another student and I turned around and said, “Hey, I grew up right near there. Where did you go to high school?” And that’s how we initially connected. We did go to the same high school. It was a very large high school and he was 3 years older than me so we never knew of each back then. Throughout the years each time we chat about our childhoods we stumble upon another almost connection we may have made. We always joke that maybe when we die god will show us a video of all the times our paths crossed when we were growing up but were oblivious to the other’s existence. Recently we figured out that his older sister worked at the ice cream shop that my parents often took me to for a treat. She’s 8 years older than me so when she was 16 years old working at the Baskin-Robbins I was 8 years old eating ice cream there. We are most certain if god showed us the video of our paths crossing there would be one where she was serving me a scoop of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream on a sugar cone. There are many examples like this of us being connected without knowing it and it's been entertaining us since we met in that grad school class almost 18 years ago.
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There are two potential ways I can leave a yoga class. One way is wide eyed, energized and ready to go on with the day. Another way is with what I like to call 'yoga brain', which is a chilled out state where the body and mind are taken over by the most amazing relaxed sensation. That is how I left class feeling today.
This yoga brain state makes it hard for me to even leave my mat. I melt into the earth with my mind shut off for as long as I can. When I've done this for what seems like too long, I slowly pack up my props and roll up my mat. I do all of this without leaving a seated position on the floor. I do not want to leave the comforting, hot, dark and humid yoga studio and head to the lobby. Yoga brain will sometimes cause me to accidentally leave something behind. Maybe I forget my water bottle or towel and not even notice it missing. I plop down on a bench in the lobby and lazily without much effort put on my shoes. Then I grab my stuff and head out to my car. The cold air hits my soaking wet yoga clothes and chills me to the bone. When I get in my car I crank up the seat warmer and the heat. Anything to maintain this post yoga feeling. When I finally arrive home I can't even fathom how I got from point A to point B, but here I am. When I finally muster up the energy to leave my car I think I am now ready to take the rest of my day head on. Spoiler alert: I have no spring break plans.
We were suppose to go to Palm Springs last year to visit my in-laws, but we cancelled. We were not sure when traveling would be safe again for us so we didn't make any future plans. This is why we are left with less than two weeks out from spring break with no where planned to go. My sister-in-law has been traveling this entire time and has be lucky to stay healthy. Last fall she went to a small family wedding in Montana. Then she went to her parent's place in Palm Springs over winter break for a 3 week extended visit. She could do this because she is a remote first grade teacher and her district is amazing and allows her to teach from anywhere. Now she is leaving again to go back to Palm Springs for not just spring break but for an extended time again. To say I am jealous is putting it lightly. I am fatigued from making decisions to be safe. I am fatigued from missing out on warm weather, sunshine and fun. I need a vacation. If the decision were up to only me I'd be going with my sister-in-law to Palm Springs in a few days, but I cannot convince my husband to throw caution to the wind. So here we are with no spring break plans and I couldn't be more disappointed. When will I travel again? Have you been traveling since "this all" happened? Before the pandemic I taught a weekly yoga class to teachers in my school district. We obviously have not been able to meet due to what is now considered a large amount of people in what is now considered a small amount of space. I finished my last yoga class in March of 2020 and have not been able to meet with my regulars since.
This past summer I taught a weekly Saturday morning class from my driveway until the weather turned on us. Teach on Zoom they say but I have not been willing to teach yoga virtually. My current day job is teaching remotely all day long and I couldn't take any other time teaching on a screen or at the very least I am not willing to try. I am tapped out at the end of each of my days. I have subbed a few times at my local yoga studio but nothing on a regular basis, which I am craving. There's something very different about teaching mostly the same people consistently. You can see progression and move people towards improvements. I can't do that with a class here and there. Although at this point I'll take anything. Getting back to teaching weekly is something I am looking forward to. Once the nice weather is here to stay I may offer yoga class on my driveway again and then when school starts in the fall maybe I will be allowed to host classes for the teachers again. Fingers crossed... I didn't realize how much I prefer waking up after the sun has made it's appearance. When my alarm went off today I was very confused, groggy and grumpy. Darn that daylight savings time for making me get up out of bed in the dark. I am sorry darkness but my body listens to the sun. The sun knows better than the you when it is time to wake up and start the day.
I appreciate the light that peaks in around my darkening shade and how it softly tells me it's time to start the day. I love pulling up the shade and letting the sunlight hit my face. I start with my eyes closed and then gently open them to accept the light, take a deep breath and go about my morning. When I told my husband about how the darkness messed with me today, he reminded me that we are going to gain 2 minutes of daylight each day and that slowly I should be getting back my sun filled wake up times. It's going to be okay. I will use this short interruption of morning darkness to remind me how much I love and appreciate the sunlight. Full disclosure: I wrote this a few days ago. I guess the jokes on me.
Is anyone else scared that this gorgeous weather is not here to stay? It's that time of year in the Chicago area when we have trick spring weather. Just enough days in a row of mild temps to trick you into putting away the hats, gloves and snow pants and upgrade to a lighter coat. I haven't put any of those winter items away since I am sure it will be me who will jinx the whole thing and send us spiraling back into winter. I seem to think if I am kicking around winter boots and pushing past winter coats to get to my lighter jacket that it will help the sunshine and mild temps hang around. I am not sure that I personally have that much power but maybe if we all work together we can keep spring here. What do you think? Want to have some winter gear annoyingly in your way for a few weeks until we are sure that spring is here to stay? My parents, who are in their mid seventies, are two weeks post second vaccination. We like to joke that they have been feeling more immune as the days passed.
Last night was the first time we visited their house since covid changed our lives. When we visited before we would always stay outside, far apart and wear our masks. This time we went inside, without our masks on and shared a meal together. The meal wasn't anything special. We ate pizza, breadsticks and St. Patrick's day cupcakes. However, the time spent together was as special as ever. We didn't know that we would have to wait a year to do something which used to be regular and normal for us. Something so simple and regular, is now something so joyous. Eating pizza and cupcakes around the table, playing a cards and laughing. My daughters even slept over. Hugs all around too! I will always remember to have gratitude for the regular, simple things. My friend made me a pie
A thank you pie A strawberry rhubarb pie With a thick lattice crust Painted shamrocks for decorations She delivered it on 3.14 It pays to do nice things Happy PIE Day! I don't need to remind you that it's the one year anniversary of when it all went awry. A full 52 weeks of mayhem. Do you have hope now that things will level out and be closer to what we are used to? I think maybe I do have a bit of hope, but I know it's more of a distant future and not the near future. The present and near future is still throwing pies in my face over and over again.
I've been feeling super low these past couple of days. I blew off my workouts the last 2 days because I got home from work and I only wanted the day to be over. Some days feel like they just won't end no mater how much you want them to. Somebody is always needing me for something that I do not want to be needed for. I want to check out. I want to be alone in the dark and fall asleep so the world around me can be shut out from my mind. Today I need to get myself out this hole. I know I need to drag myself to yoga class. I know that when the hour is over I will be recharged with a more positive outlook. It's not just the practice that centers me but it is also the social contact I get from talking with other people in the studio. The hardest part is taking the first step and getting to my mat. It is the weekend after all. Let's do this. When I was fourteen years old and talking to friends on the phone compared to how my now 14 year old daughter talks on the phone with her friends is hardly comparable.
First, I'd go to a room where I could be alone and I'd close the door. I would dial the number on my cordless phone (You know the one that had the thick plastic antenna). I'd have to push in the 7 digit phone number that I would have memorized or written down on my hand in pen or maybe on a scrap piece of notebook paper if this wasn't a friend I called regularly. Once I was connected I'd have to politely ask, "Hello, is so-and-so there?" Then I'd wait until they came to their phone. During the phone call we'd have to listen to make sure that no one else picked up another phone line in either of our houses. We wouldn't want anyone else to listen in on our conversation. Once we were done chatting I'd have to hang up the phone on the charger so it would be ready to use for the next phone call. As do most teenagers these days, my daughter has her own cell phone. She doesn't have to worry about anyone else picking up another line and listening in on her phone calls. However, it seems like she doesn't care too much about anyone listening in. She walks around the house while on a video call. I hear her side of the conversation but I can hear her friend too. If she does decide to stay in here room she talks so loudly that I can hear everything through the walls anyway. I was so protective of my privacy and would be mortified if my mom or dad heard what I was talking about. My daughter just doesn't care much if I'm unavoidably eavesdropping. Is this just my daughter or is it common of other teenagers today? |
AMRK-6 Music Teacher Archives
March 2022
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